Lots of people, parents mostly, are awfully concerned about the words that children hear. They think that hearing certain words might hinder a child’s development. Or scar them emotionally.
I entirely agree!
The theory goes like this. Children are impressionable (this is true), and easy to influence (less true). And they lack either the emotional maturity or the experience to handle certain concepts. I agree with this as well. Even more, I’d say that the same of many adults.
However, most people worry about very odd words. Poo, poty, damn, shit, fuck. These words are easy to understand and use. Say them when you wish to emphasize a point. Not in polite company. Rarely, or they lose their impact.
Children hear them all the time. And what happens? They snicker. And maybe use them. Oh no!
There are many words that are much more harmful.
Should.
This word tells a child to shut up. Do what you are told. And that explanations are unnecessary. Because whoever says this is in a position of power. Not because they are right, or because it will provide some benefit. But because they rank higher on some social ladder than you.
You should clean your room. You should brush your teeth. Whenever a parent says this, they deprive a child of choice. They are forced to become a cog, instead of a thinking, feeling person. It misdirects them. They are pulled towards a demand, and the authority behind it. Not to their actions, and why those are important.
Everyone.
This word tells a child that they are in danger of being arrested by the conformity police. Which aren’t real. But they are very scary. When you say this to a child, you are saying that they need to do what other people are doing. Why? Because other people are doing it of course. And they might reject you for doing something else.
Instead you should foster their independence. Tell them that true friends are the ones who recognize your differences. They don’t need you to be the same as them.